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VICE MAGAZINE: 10 Years Of The Worst Parties Ever

vice_invite_sm.jpg1994 was a big year for music.

Green Day broke into the mainstream with "Dookie." Weezer appeared with "Weezer," Elliott Smith with "Roman Candle." Blur had "Park Life" and Beck had "Mellow Gold." Surely there were dozens, if not hundreds, of other notables in the the Alt-Rock/Rock 'n Roll/Singer-Songwriter categories, and then, of course, there were the punk bands.

vice_party1_sm.jpg NOFX had "Punk in Drublic," The Clash B-sides album, "Super Black Market Clash," showed up. Rancid had "Let's Go." In the light of these releases, in the sphere of 1994, three Canadian fuck-ups puked out a 16-page newspaper about punk and drugs and being fuck-ups in Canada, aptly named VICE.

Now, ten years later, they've infiltrated half a dozen countries, made shit-loads of money, and managed to keep from being branded sell-outs by keeping true to their roots of getting piss-ass drunk, playing music really loudly, and being impressively consistent in their self-deprecation and misogyny.

vice_party3_sm.jpg Saturday night, VICE celebrated their decade of debauchery in as fitting a form as could be imagined or expected: by throwing a completely ridiculous, music-ridden, sweaty liquor-fest. They managed to discover the most flat, sprawling representation of their native Canada in the expansive club, Skylight, way over to the west, on Hudson St. With tables dedicated to all the various liquor sponsors, a prospective drunk could stumble down the avenue of Skylight's primary hallway, falling into each wing of the club to land upon a table of friendly drink dispensers, ready to hand over another free cup of social lubricant. The Pabst table gave those with alternative preferences directions to the Sparks table, the Sparks table-workers pointed patrons to the Bacardi table, and so on.

vice_party2_sm.jpg Celebrating music and alcohol and the sprawling nature of VICE's influence on the world was best done with their showcasing of one band from each of the countries where the magazine's impact is most celebrated, and one by one, the bands took the stage:

  • BORIS, Vice Japan,
  • DEATH FROM ABOVE, Vice Canada,
  • The OTHERS, Vice UK,
  • DUNGEN, Vice Scandinavia,
  • MEAN REDS, Vice US, and
  • BIRD BLOBS, Vice Australia.

vice_party4_sm.jpg Titled "THE WORST PARTY EVER," partygoers were clearly not fooled by the irony of the party's name (presumably, VICE's primary audience famously embraces irony), as they overtook each room of the club and left behind a consistent and massive gathering of cohorts pressed up against the velvet ropes outside, hoping to be let in from the desolate west side's winter weather.

vice_party5_sm.jpg Inside, digital projection machines illuminated pages of VICE's tenth anniversary issue on the walls. A DJ room projected images from the floor upwards, as hands and heads of the dancing attendees cast shadows on the ceiling. Sexual acts were lining the hallways, inspired, we presume, by the alcohol, the inherent sense of iniquity and the sparse clothing. We never saw the midget-tossing that was advertised in the invitation, but some little people did rush by us, beers in hand, and everyone, big and little, black, white, asian, hispanic, older, younger, overdone or wallflowered, seemed to be brought together, pressed together, as though by a vice, and by VICE, and by the celebrating all of their vices.

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Comments [rss]

  • Frantie

    What happend to Vice? who to blame and what the fuck is that shit about Gavin beeing a racist..!!

  • jacques derriere

    hey ben. canada is a country, not a city. i assume you are american. give your head a shake buddy.

    JD.

  • Dazzle2112

    Gavin McInnes is an asshole to end all assholes. And one of the biggest racists I've ever met. If he ever got hit by a truck, people would stand up and cheer!

    Oh, but more realistically, it would be great to see the guy get busted for having copious amounts of child porn on his computer.

  • hijiki

    here's gavin babbling about himself and how he's working to nurture neo-con kids by exploiting cool culture. vice has made plenty of money at it.

    http://www.amconmag.com/08_11_03/feature.html

  • SUMwon

    fuck Gavin McInnes and fuck Vice.

    seriously.

  • meesalikeu

    made shitloads of money? huh? explain. did you mean after those spoiled rich kids moved to nyc? or before when it was all their parent's money? hardeehar. you know the funniest parody in vice is where they try to push out there that canada compares equally to the great cities of the world they now shill their trite shite in.



  • I say ignore the store and focus on the Streets. How fucking good is that album?

  • I'd like to thank Vice for The Streets' newest album. At the same time, I'd like to not thank Vice for the stupid 700 dollar sweaters they push in SoHo. I'm so torn. Should I like them or should continue feigning jealous disinterest?

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