Gothamist: Sexual Discrimnation Suit at Midtown Restaurant

ken dickinson

Fri, 23 Jul 2004 12:07:52 -0500

i am a hetrosexual man however i have favoured gay men for many years, i have found myself at times rude to 1 woman in my home town, am i perhaps becoming gay with my maturaty? or am i scared of the revolitionery woman of today?

paradoxically

Thu, 15 Apr 2004 12:42:42 -0500

The food-service business is simply a microcosm of life in every other work environment, to wit; people are people and with all the warts, egos, disfunctionality and jealousies there will *always* be less-than-proper examples of behavior and there will *always* be employees who fall far short of what civilized folks would expect. Having said that, I would still, if need required, work again in this industry... I have found that if one is infailingly polite, quiet as a rule, and somewhat understanding, these things tend to rear their heads infrequently, on a personal basis,and fade as they should if one's attention is focused elsewhere. This is not to be construed as any type of defense of chauvanisim or unfairness or impropriety... it is simply my humble opinion that the world functions as it will and it just seems to me that there are more important things to turn one's attention to than verbal insults/teasing in the workplace.

Johnny Noxema

Thu, 15 Apr 2004 11:03:34 -0500

Maybe the gay waiters were extremely annoying in that way cocky gay men can be, and deserved a little ribbing from their co-workers. And why didn't they just defend themselves with words or actions instead of crying to the authorities. They remind me of whiny, middle-class ladies who don't know how to put men in their place when they are exposed to sexual banter in the workplace.

Heather

Thu, 15 Apr 2004 03:59:03 -0500

A high school friend of mine once told me that the restautant industry was a "dirty" one. To me, a "dirty industry" referred to the less savoury worlds of gambling, prostitution, maybe even the strip clubs. Restaurants are often frequented by "high-end" patrons (not the the previous establishments are not, I guess), and are rarely seen as unacceptable in terms of going to one. But unfortunately, aforementioned friend was right. In the restaurant industry, anything goes. I'm not saying that it's right, but I'm saying that having employers tell you that "to get the best shifts, you have to do more than just your job" is pretty commonplace. Being told not to order a certain shift meal because "your ass really doesn't need it" isn't rare, either. Coworkers sexually harassing you? Um, yeah, IT HAPPENS. Okay, so I've never had a bottle shoved up my ass-- but there's definately been harassment. I'm not saying that it's justifiable or "right" in any sense of the word, but if you don't like it, get out of the freakin' industry. Everyone deserves an equal-opportunity, friendly, non-discriminatory workplace-- but if you're expecting one, look elsewhere. Priscilla, my boss took the more indirect approach: "I'm not telling you to sell sex," he said slyly. "I'm telling you to sell hope." "Oh, so you mean selling my soul then?" I asked. It shut him up temporarily. In conclusion, for struggling college students, serving pays the bills, but no, it's not always the ideal workplace. Think about those poor folks who slaved away and took a bottle to the arsehole just to bring you your food next time you're cheapness tempts you to not tip a server.

eebmore

Thu, 15 Apr 2004 02:14:07 -0500

yes, sugar is right. Lets not be so serious.

sugar

Thu, 15 Apr 2004 01:58:30 -0500

Get over yourselves. If you like a bottle up the ass, you should get one. If you don't you souldn't.

eebmore

Wed, 14 Apr 2004 23:53:30 -0500

Wow, I�ve inspired some vitriol. That�s fine. Now, I may be an idiot, but I don�t remember condoning the behavior I�ve experienced in the workplace. I was simply trying to express what my experience has been. Also, nor do I approve of my employer�s decisions regarding gender and hire. But, my employer is the lawyer and the �connected� one of us two. I may be taking the cowardly low road by not rocking the boat, but I�m just a server trying to pay the rent. Perhaps if I was a restaurateur, I could change the world. Secondly, why are you attacking Paul?? He seems to be agreeing with you. I understand my idiocy may have worked up such a rage in you that the only reasonable course of action is to lash out at everyone (you sound like a fine employer), but do please try to stay focused on my idiocy. I�m sure Paul would appreciate it. And yes, these two gentlemen do obviously disagree with me. But we don�t know if these litigious claims are frivolous or valid. They�re also suing their employers for only paying them $3.30 an hour. My employer only pays me $2.40 an hour. How much do you pay your waiters and waitresses? And, as the restaurateur of two establishments, what is the minimum wage for servers in New York? I don�t know. Admittedly (and I�m genuinely coming out of my sarcastic tone for a moment) I pushed the envelope a bit too far when I said the bottle incident may have been contextually justifiable. I was perhaps exaggerating for effect there. But, as I�ve said before, the jury is still out as to whether these claims are valid. I�ve seen the ugly head of false litigious claims before. These two gentlemen do obviously have a bone to pick, but are the details of the lawsuit a genuine reflection of whatever that bone may be? I don�t know. Finally, I�d like to apologize to the publishers and editors of Gothamist for engaging in a tiff in their comment section. And to the individual in question, might I suggest you call me an idiot or whatever else you like to call me one last time and have the last word. If you would like to further engage this whatever, my email is always open.

puhLEEZ

Wed, 14 Apr 2004 22:07:26 -0500

hey, paul, why did you bother inteviewing those waiters (ALL 3 DOZEN OF THEM), only to invalidate your credibility in a forum outside your own blog by making an inappropriate sexual comment? it doesn't make any sense, and you're not funny! you've "never hears (sic) anything like this" ? perhaps you never asks (sic). dumbass.

puhLEEZ

Wed, 14 Apr 2004 22:02:13 -0500

wow, casey, your comment is "worthless"!

Paul

Wed, 14 Apr 2004 20:54:32 -0500

I'm currently running a blog on waiter in Manhattan. I've interviewed well over 3 dozen waiters and I've never hears anything like this. Nobody should have a wine bottle shoved up their ass, unless they ask really nicely.

Casey

Wed, 14 Apr 2004 20:30:36 -0500

Wow, puhLEEZ, you take yourself very seriously, especially for someone you uses quirky, "clever" misspellings.

puhLEEZ

Wed, 14 Apr 2004 18:54:59 -0500

oh, snap,eebmore! i forgot about this: "The rules that apply to social interaction in the real world most certainly do not apply to the restaurant business." WHAT ARE YOU SMOKING? i find the restaurant business has a great deal to do with the "real world". YOU SOUND STUPID. ad hominem attacks are simply sloppy, but i am in a hurry ... I HAVE TO LEAVE AND GO TO WORK IN MY REAL WORLD. Ta!

puhLEEZ

Wed, 14 Apr 2004 18:43:37 -0500

hey, eebmore, glad to see you accept the mise en place! perhaps you might like to work in austria. no, it ISN'T right, whether you joke around like chuckles the clown or not. as to your allegation that "holding a bottle of wine up to another man's backside could actually be quite innocent and friendly in nature", i have this to say - are you an IDIOT? In case you might be, let me point out that Town is not a "high school locker room". It's a business that EMPLOYS people. allow me to share with you the fact that i own two restaurants in NYC, and have been in the biz for 34 years. THIS KIND OF CRAP DOES NOT FLY. I don't mean to be harsh with you, eebmore, but, REALLY, it seems that the waiters bringing the suit don't share your view. finally, how is it that you work in a place that's "100% male"? that's not legal, and this is not 1950.

eebmore

Wed, 14 Apr 2004 13:54:36 -0500

... and if I remember correctly, the lone female chef didn't grab the guy's balls, but had grabbed him by the back of the neck, bent him over the line and dry humped him from behind. Well done, kitchen lady.

eebmore

Wed, 14 Apr 2004 13:39:04 -0500

Where I work is 100% male, and 50/50 gay straight with zero turnover (no new hires in years... average period of employ 10+ years (Peter Lugerish). Imagine a high school locker room where homosexuality is accepted. Gays tease straits. Straits tease gays. Often borders on sexual harassment. At the end of the day it is like one large dysfunctional family. Holidays are spent with one another, bail is posted for one another, and individuals who have spent years calling one another Cock Sucker or Fisher will sit at the bedside of a dying family-less man for weeks. Although I don�t know the context of the occurrences at this particular restaurant, I can certainly imagine instances where holding a bottle of wine up to another man�s backside could actually be quite innocent and friendly in nature. The rules that apply to social interaction in the real world most certainly do not apply to the restaurant business. I�ve seen new hires who were homophobic and had a problem with the interaction and had to choose to either get over it or move one. I�ve also seen the inverse, when a gay man did not appreciate the name calling or what have you, and made his dissatisfaction known � at which point the context of the ribbing takes on a completely different and uglier nature; and the intention is most definitely meant to squeeze that person out. Anthony Bourdain made reference to such a litigious waiter in Kitchen Confidential. I�m definitely not saying that it is right, and openly admitting that such behavior is archaic, but manhood (for lack of a better term) in the restaurant business is not measured by sexual orientation, but by ones ability to take a joke and throw one back.

mel p

Wed, 14 Apr 2004 12:24:17 -0500

Is the general manager's name REALLY W.Anker? (Warren-the-Wanker to his mates I hope)

christa

Wed, 14 Apr 2004 11:32:30 -0500

When I waited tables, comments like "I don't do fat middle-aged bald guys." used to work. But it would be MUCH better if the kitchens were 'cleaner'.

Mike

Wed, 14 Apr 2004 10:49:25 -0500

Uh, yeah, teasing and macho posturing are part of kitchen life. It's gross. Waitresses shouldn't have to be "tough." The idiots in the kitchen should be forced into the 21st century.

Max

Wed, 14 Apr 2004 10:29:42 -0500

Note to self- do not order wine at Town.

priscilla

Wed, 14 Apr 2004 10:11:05 -0500

The opinion from an ex-server: Insanity is right- when I did my restaurant tour of duty (years ago) one of the biggest lessons I ever learned was to just be cute and halfway sharp (if extraordinarily cute, then you are allowed to be fantastically dull) and the best shifts were yours. Working in a restaurant is like working in America before equal opportunity legislation. You are told constantly what about your appearance needs to be made more attractive, that your shirt/pants/skirt could be tighter, blah blah blah. As one old boss told me- sex sells. I shoulda just stripped instead. The worst part- when you are out of work it is really hard to get unemployment.