Sexual Discrimnation Suit at Midtown Restaurant

i am a hetrosexual man however i have favoured gay men for many years, i have found myself at times rude to 1 woman in my home town, am i perhaps becoming gay with my maturaty? or am i scared of the revolitionery woman of today?

The food-service business is simply a microcosm of life in every other work environment, to wit; people are people and with all the warts, egos, disfunctionality and jealousies there will *always* be less-than-proper examples of behavior and there will *always* be employees who fall far short of what civilized folks would expect. Having said that, I would still, if need required, work again in this industry... I have found that if one is infailingly polite, quiet as a rule, and somewhat understanding, these things tend to rear their heads infrequently, on a personal basis,and fade as they should if one's attention is focused elsewhere. This is not to be construed as any type of defense of chauvanisim or unfairness or impropriety... it is simply my humble opinion that the world functions as it will and it just seems to me that there are more important things to turn one's attention to than verbal insults/teasing in the workplace.

Maybe the gay waiters were extremely annoying in that way cocky gay men can be, and deserved a little ribbing from their co-workers. And why didn't they just defend themselves with words or actions instead of crying to the authorities. They remind me of whiny, middle-class ladies who don't know how to put men in their place when they are exposed to sexual banter in the workplace.

A high school friend of mine once told me that the restautant industry was a "dirty" one. To me, a "dirty industry" referred to the less savoury worlds of gambling, prostitution, maybe even the strip clubs. Restaurants are often frequented by "high-end" patrons (not the the previous establishments are not, I guess), and are rarely seen as unacceptable in terms of going to one. But unfortunately, aforementioned friend was right. In the restaurant industry, anything goes.

I'm not saying that it's right, but I'm saying that having employers tell you that "to get the best shifts, you have to do more than just your job" is pretty commonplace. Being told not to order a certain shift meal because "your ass really doesn't need it" isn't rare, either. Coworkers sexually harassing you? Um, yeah, IT HAPPENS. Okay, so I've never had a bottle shoved up my ass-- but there's definately been harassment. I'm not saying that it's justifiable or "right" in any sense of the word, but if you don't like it, get out of the freakin' industry. Everyone deserves an equal-opportunity, friendly, non-discriminatory workplace-- but if you're expecting one, look elsewhere.

Priscilla, my boss took the more indirect approach: "I'm not telling you to sell sex," he said slyly. "I'm telling you to sell hope."

"Oh, so you mean selling my soul then?" I asked. It shut him up temporarily.

In conclusion, for struggling college students, serving pays the bills, but no, it's not always the ideal workplace. Think about those poor folks who slaved away and took a bottle to the arsehole just to bring you your food next time you're cheapness tempts you to not tip a server.

yes, sugar is right. Lets not be so serious.

Get over yourselves.

If you like a bottle up the ass, you should get one.

If you don't you souldn't.

hey, paul, why did you bother inteviewing those waiters (ALL 3 DOZEN OF THEM), only to invalidate your credibility in a forum outside your own blog by making an inappropriate sexual comment? it doesn't make any sense, and you're not funny!

you've "never hears (sic) anything like this" ?

perhaps you never asks (sic).

dumbass.

wow, casey, your comment is "worthless"!

I'm currently running a blog on waiter in Manhattan. I've interviewed well over 3 dozen waiters and I've never hears anything like this.

Nobody should have a wine bottle shoved up their ass, unless they ask really nicely.

Wow, puhLEEZ, you take yourself very seriously, especially for someone you uses quirky, "clever" misspellings.

oh, snap,eebmore! i forgot about this: "The rules that apply to social interaction in the real world most certainly do not apply to the restaurant business."

WHAT ARE YOU SMOKING? i find the restaurant business has a great deal to do with the "real world". YOU SOUND STUPID. ad hominem attacks are simply sloppy, but i am in a hurry ... I HAVE TO LEAVE AND GO TO WORK IN MY REAL WORLD.

Ta!

hey, eebmore, glad to see you accept the mise en place! perhaps you might like to work in austria. no, it ISN'T right, whether you joke around like chuckles the clown or not.

as to your allegation that "holding a bottle of wine up to another man's backside could actually be quite innocent and friendly in nature", i have this to say - are you an IDIOT? In case you might be, let me point out that Town is not a "high school locker room". It's a business that EMPLOYS people.

allow me to share with you the fact that i own two restaurants in NYC, and have been in the biz for 34 years. THIS KIND OF CRAP DOES NOT FLY.

I don't mean to be harsh with you, eebmore, but, REALLY, it seems that the waiters bringing the suit don't share your view.

finally, how is it that you work in a place that's "100% male"? that's not legal, and this is not 1950.

... and if I remember correctly, the lone female chef didn't grab the guy's balls, but had grabbed him by the back of the neck, bent him over the line and dry humped him from behind.

Well done, kitchen lady.

Is the general manager's name REALLY W.Anker? (Warren-the-Wanker to his mates I hope)

When I waited tables, comments like "I don't do fat middle-aged bald guys." used to work. But it would be MUCH better if the kitchens were 'cleaner'.

Uh, yeah, teasing and macho posturing are part of kitchen life. It's gross. Waitresses shouldn't have to be "tough." The idiots in the kitchen should be forced into the 21st century.

Note to self- do not order wine at Town.

The opinion from an ex-server:

Insanity is right- when I did my restaurant tour of duty (years ago) one of the biggest lessons I ever learned was to just be cute and halfway sharp (if extraordinarily cute, then you are allowed to be fantastically dull) and the best shifts were yours.

Working in a restaurant is like working in America before equal opportunity legislation. You are told constantly what about your appearance needs to be made more attractive, that your shirt/pants/skirt could be tighter, blah blah blah.

As one old boss told me- sex sells.

I shoulda just stripped instead.

The worst part- when you are out of work it is really hard to get unemployment.