Lindsay Robertson, Freelance Writer

The Basics
Age and occupation. How long have you lived here, where did you come from, and where do you live now?
Age 27, Freelance Writer. I moved here in June of 2000 from Tallahassee, Florida. I lived in Williamsburg for 3.5 years; I'm currently subletting in Hell's Kitchen.

Three in the morning
1. New York needs another reading series like it needs...another reading series. (Sorry, it's a self-fulfilling metaphor.) What are you offering to the lit hungry masses?
For the longest time, I’ve had a deep, dark secret: I hate literary readings. With the exception of John Hodgman's Little Gray Books Lectures, every reading I’ve ever attended has been comparable to a dentist's visit without the laughing gas (ironic, since Little Gray Books is the only reading that actually calls itself a "lecture"). So I decided to put together readings for the Attention Deficit generation. Each reader at Ritalin Readings is limited to four minutes, and they have to be funny. The first Ritalin Reading is at Piano's on March 23.

2. It's a fear that crosses the mind of many New Yorkers at least once - going home after work and thinking your apartment building is on fire - but it actually happened to you. What did you lose forever that you wish you could have back?
Hmmm. This one is tricky, because most of my important stuff was okay, it was just the apartment that was destroyed. I mean, I can get another microwave. I guess the biggest thing was it happened during a time when a lot was going on, and I needed a home base, and instead I was staying on my friends' couches while I looked for a new place, and that distraction probably affected what I was working on. But generally, the fire was a good thing because I hated that apartment and I'm much happier now.

3. Let's try some word association. What's the first thing you think of after hearing these NY bar names?
Cherry Tavern: Old Glory Specials with my boy-friends.
Motor City: Secret peephole in the bathroom door.
Union Pool: Flashing with friends in the photo booth and then passing around the pictures. Good bathrooms, bad music.
The Abbey: The smell of Brooklyn Lager, townies, Neutral Milk Hotel on the jukebox and a pool cue in my face.
Enid's: Cute boys.
Max Fish: The only bar I've ever been thrown out of (due to crazy drunk bartender, I swear!)
Lit: All kinds of 3 a.m. naughtiness in the "VIP room."

Proust-Krucoff Questionnaire
Time travel question: What era, day or event in New York's history would you like to re-live?
The Algonquin round table era or the "Please Kill Me" era.

Please share a personal (and hopefully interesting) NYC taxi story.
A few weeks ago, I hailed a cab on Orchard Street and the driver was this blond guy in his 20's. I waited about 30 seconds and then said "This is the first time I've ever been able to say: you've definitely never been my driver before." He said that people say that all the time. Then, the whole way home, he told me strange and amazing cab driving stories. When we got to my place, I considered inviting him up to watch episodes of "The Office," but realized I only wanted to so I could tell people about it, and I didn't want him to get the wrong idea. Or be a murderer. If you get this guy, ask him about the cellphone he found in his cab. It has a crazy Seinfeld ending!

9pm, Wednesday night - what are you doing?
I'll be participating in a reading on the theme of "Betrayal" at PS122. (Hopefully it won't be boring.)

What's your New York motto?
"Music will make everything OK." This is my motto in general, and it proves itself true over and over. (Today it's Franz Ferdinand, self titled, track 10 that's making everything ok.)

Who do you consider to be the greatest New Yorker of all-time?
Dorothy Parker. (Who did you expect me to say, Donald Trump?)

Best celebrity sighting in New York, or personal experience with one if you're that type.
Meeting Bill Clinton, who totally held my hand while Jon Cryer took my picture with him. Most delightfully surreal moment.

Where do you summer?
In a New York City blissfully free of the type of people who "summer." New York in the summer is wonderful and I don't know why anyone would want to miss it. The time to go to the beach is when it's cold up here and warm in Florida.

Medication: What and how much do you take?
The pill and pot, and just enough.

Of all the movies made about (or highly associated with) New York, what role would you have liked to be cast in?
Annie Hall, of course.

The End of The World is finally happening. What are you going to do with your last 24 hours in NYC?
Hole up in the Chelsea Hotel with 20 of my best friends and a "suitcase" of MDMA. Again.

More of Lindsay can be found in one piece at Lindsayism.com.