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Following initial reports that American-born panda, Hua Mei, would have her pick of four suitors at the Wolong Panda Reserve in China, it seems that panda-ologists want to make sure Hua Mei knows how to mate: Hua Mei is now watching sex education tapes - PANDA sex education tapes. The AP reports:
"We hope she can get pregnant by the end of March," said Wei Rongping, assistant director of the research center. "But first of all, she should have some sexual education."Intriguing! Pandas' mating instincts need to be drawn out with sex tapes! It's so bizarre and brings up questions that Gothamist had never thought of before, like "Do pandas watch other pandas mate?" and "How is that possible when they are so solitary?" Or "Is that why they are endangered - they don't know how to have sex?" If only Hua Mei could use a computer - then she could see our detailed coverage of D.C. pandas mating.
Because Hua Mei has been in captivity since she was born, she has little knowledge of sex, so officials have shown her videos of mating pandas and brought her to see other pandas mating.
Similar sex education courses given to other pandas in the center had resulted in natural matings.
The other priceless quote is when Wei says of the male panda suitors, "I do not know which of them will be lucky enough to mate our princess. It's all up to Hua Mei to find her own 'Mr. Right.'"
[Thanks to corie, Christine and Charlie]
Updated: A letter on McSweeney's wonders if panda sex is "ferocious or tame." Don't we all. Thanks, Josh.
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Could we have a Gothamist Panda Sex Ed Animation Contest? Who can create the best animated panda-porn how-to? Soft, cuddly panda porn, mind you.
Panda porn?
if panda porn becomes pervasive on this site, it may necessitate a visit from Sexual Harassment Panda!
Jen, can you investigate further? Say, by contacting the panda reserve, or maybe an American zoo that has pandas? So many unanswered questions...
[For some reason this all brings to mind The Blue Lagoon. You know, how like Brooke Shields and Christopher Atkins figured out procreation all by themselves on that island?]
That's really funny. You tend to think mating is this totally natural, instinctual thing, and it turns out to be something you actually have to be trained in. Even pandas. I hope they're showing her romantic movies and some weird underground stuff.
It is not every day that Jen gets to write about Panda Porn in the news.
When all options fail, They should Contact Dr Sue Johanson ( http://www.oxygen.com/sexshow/ ) If she can't get these panda's humping, then nothing will.