The Evil of Sketch Artists

Ugh, remind Gothamist never to take the witness stand in a closed-to-the-cameras court, because the courtroom sketch artist's drawing of Martha Stewart trial witness Douglas Faneuil turns the youthful looking lad he is into a hooded eyed, plastic surgery middle period Al Pacino or current period Brad Garrett. Also remind us to better understand tax loss schemes, mainly that selling stocks at a profit doesn't help one's taxes. And that we probably shouldn't go to Jamaica and smoke pot after we make a deal with the government. Damned defense attorneys.

Douglas Faneuil's drug usage became hotly debated, but MSNBC legal eagle Dan Abrams thinks Faneuil has been a strong witness thus far.

Contact the author of this article or email tips@gothamist.com with further questions, comments or tips.

By Jen Chung in News on February 5, 2004 10:17 AM

Comments [rss]

Alex

I believe his poise and boyish good looks helped his case.

Alex

I believe his poise and boyish good looks helped his case.

Furey

Much easier way to refer to pot as a person, by calling it "Larry". So you can talk about it at work or via email with things like:

"Hey man, Larry is over my house and he wants to see you. Come on over!"

or

"Larry and I are coming to your apartment, get the cheetos and ding-dongs ready."

Of course my one friend kept messing up the term and would say things like:

"Hey man, I got Larry in the glove compartment of my car..."

:)

Hoofin

Kind of reminds me of "The pot on top"

Doug sells stock.

Doug smokes pot.

Sell that stock!

Sell that stock!

It will drop

like a rock!

A tax loss sale is done, to be able to claim the loss against whatever GAIN you have from other trades that you made in the year.

The idea is that, if you are going to have to pay taxes on your sales otherwise, you might as well sell some of your losers. This way, all your "money" in your portfolio is still yours, rather than some yours and another piece (the tax) going over to the government. You get to spin the wheel another day with that dough, rather than pay it to Uncle Sam.

The reason Faneuil knew it was a bullsh*t story, was because the tax advisor called and said that Martha sold at a profit. And was pissed, because now the tax plan was screwed up.

This basically is the 2004 fable/moral of "how the lie makes it worse". Martha got greedy about small money, because at heart she still must be that up-and-coming striver ethnic from the wrong side of the tracks. Merrill has some crooked brokers (yeah, newsflash!). And you don't screw around with the feds when they are coming for you.

ms

never before have I seen a gay wear such an ugly tie.

O.H.

If I ever GET any again (Baltimore only has the hard stuff, crackamethalyne style), I am going to call it that IMMEDIATELY.

Jen

Faneuil does look like a less florid Ben Affleck. And there's nothing wrong wtih Al Pacino and Brad Garrett - it's just that Faneuil looks nothing like them.

Gothamist likes to refer to pot(t) as "the pot."

Old Hag

Dude, that he exhibited the honest behavior of going to Jamaica and partaking of a little pott (spelling Gothamist-style, TM pending) makes us love -- and believe! -- him that much more.

I'm sort of weirdly drawn to the creepy guy in the drawing in an entirely separate way.

es

totally ben affleck's little bro

also, forget the red jeans what about the belly shirt.

Alison

I looked at that picture really quickly and thought it was Ben Affleck.

Poz

And the augmentive open sore on the lower left corner of his lip is a sweet touch.

fred fukkai

I think his hair is perfectly rendered in the drawing.

jake

god- the law and order people really need to get a look at this guy- he'd make a perfect casting for SVU. you know, wall street gay s&m killing plot, or something along those lines.