Oscars 2004 Will Suck

Oscars set designer Roy Christopher makes an Oscars set just for the tiny emaciated actresses of Hollywood

According to the paper of record, USA Today, viewers of ABC "comedies" will suffer stupid Oscars-related plots to get people excited about the Oscars; the producers of the Oscars telecast think, for this year, the war is out and frivolity is in; and Bruce Vilanch will be writing a lot of crap for presenters to read off the Tele-Prompter. Can't wait!

And, sure, Gothamist gets excited about the Oscars and the nominations and glitz and glamour (as we do every year), but we also have to agree with LA Weekly's Nikki Finke when she says this year's ceremony "will be a crushing bore." While it's cool Fernando Meirelles and Keisha Castle Hughes got nominated, it's not like they'll even win. Her article predicting the major categories is gold...Oscar gold: "Jeez, even the I-watch-movies-therefore-my-opinion-is-authoritative blogging mouth-breathers � and you know who you are � can get it right this time around. That is, if they finally accept the fact that the Oscars have nothing to do with art or performances and everything to do with old scores to settle, runaway egos to lasso and flagrant jealousies gone amok." Oh, Nikki, you know us so well.

Contact the author of this article or email tips@gothamist.com with further questions, comments or tips.

By Jen Chung in Arts and Events on January 29, 2004 2:45 PM

Comments [rss]

Ron Mwangaguhunga

I'm pulling for Murray to win Best Actor. I've adored that motherf#cker since Meatballs.

Burt

Dear Jen,

Three cheers to Renee Zellweger for her stupendous performance in "Cold Mountain"!

Keep up the good work!

Best,

Burt

candleblue

I heart Conan.

Mo

Now, that is not fair about all "Harvard" comics. Great shows such as the Simpsons and Futurama have been written by staffs out of the ivy leagues.

+dave

the Circuit City-esq stage design sure makes me want to watch.

karatechimp

I'm unfamiliar with the concept of books.

That said, I agree that Chevy Chase deserves any ass-whupin he gets and disagree that Sean Penn will win. Mostly because everyone in Hollywood wants to hear Bill Murray's acceptance speech.

Mo

I read Tom Shales book about SNL a while ago and what I took away from it was that Chevy Chase is an egomaniac and probably deserved any beat down he got. Bad rep or not, Bill Murray is still a genius to me.

eebmore

From what I've heard, Chevy Chase deserved a beat down from every human being with whom he had ever crossed paths.

HDTV

The Oscars won't suck because they will be broadcast in HDTV.. Which means we can see Cameron Diaz's bad skin...

Uncle Grambo

and by "I", i really mean "bloggers in general" ... i just re-read Finke's article and Jen's post. my bad. double posting blows, but sometimes it's just gotta be done.

howevs, i'm still confused as to the def of "mouth breather" ... help!

Uncle Grambo

wait, maybe i'm just being midwestern here, but what are "mouth breathers"? like, is that a good thing or a bad thing or just a thing? and why am I considered a "mouth breather"? the only things i do with my mouth are:

— eat Panera

— make out with the occasional skanky flight attendant, yo.

Ron Mwangaguhunga

Bill Murray's got a hyperaggro vibe about him. He got into a fist fight with Chevy Chase bask when Chase did his first guest hosting gig on SNL. I think Murray is a genius, but he has a rep of being an angry ex-comedian from the streets.

Mo

Wow! I had no idea that Bill Murray was such a diva. I thought he was just the quiet reclusive type. But I did hear that he fought with Lucy Liu on Charlies Angels. I assumed it was her doing...she just looks mean to me. Yech!

Jen

Great mouth-breathing minds think alike!

Uncle Grambo

great minds think alike. i just posted with a link to the same Finke article. buzz revealed.

Jen

But Gigli got lots of Razzies nods!

Brian, the 646 Guy

I'm still upset that Gigli failed to score a nomination...

Don

This works for all awards shows (and the Super Bowl)...

Just tape or TiVo it, get a good night's sleep, and zip through it before work the next day, stopping whenever a celebrity you like wins a prize. You'll save tons of time, see all your favorite stars, and still be conversant at the water cooler.