Gothamist: What There Is To Like About John Kerry

big daddy k

Tue, 30 Mar 2004 00:34:38 -0500

Here's my tribute to Herman. It's sung to the tune of Jimmy Dean's "Big Bad John" "Big John oooh-oooh Every day at the Senate You could see him arrive He stood 6'6 and weighed 105 Kind of narrow at the shoulders And broad in the hip And every single day He’d shoot from the lip Big John oooh-oooh They said he could get real nasty and mean A lesson that he learned from the Ketchup Queen One night in Iowa he threw a huge right hand And sent a Vermont lefty to the promised land Big John oooh-oooh He served his country well In Viet Nam But then came back home And protested the bomb Big John oooh-oooh He learned to be green From his friend Jane Fonda So he traded in his Caddy For an electric Honda Big John oooh-oooh He started exercising With Hanoi Jane He lost a little more weight And then the rest of his brain Big John oooh-oooh He voted against pay raises For our soldiers While he sipped his Latte Because he wouldn't drink Folgers Big John oooh-oooh He had just one message And told every crowd I SERVED IN VIET NAM AIN'T Y'ALL PROUD? Big John oooh-oooh He never stopped ranting That he was a big war hero But today's fightin' soldiers Just call him a zero Big John oooh-oooh His wife would routinely Kick him in the ass But he didn't mind Because her money was a gas Big John oooh-oooh Big John Big Jo-ohn Big bad John oooh-oooh”

J. Stone

Sat, 14 Feb 2004 21:19:06 -0500

He looks like my ass...no wait my ass is only thirty and is beautiful....he looks like the ass of a 75 year old lady....it must be all the years of attempting to accuse his vietnam buddies of war crimes to the U.S. senate..commie bastard.

Wilson

Tue, 27 Jan 2004 23:34:36 -0500

Finally someone thinks like I do, John Kerry looks like Herman Munster with a Bill Clinton wig!!

Mark

Wed, 21 Jan 2004 22:24:50 -0500

jen - have you seen all of the Righties usurping our funny commentary to serve Republican buzz? http://bushcheney2004.blogspot.com/2004_01_01_bushcheney2004_archive.html#107470108349359230 i say no buzz. viva la Kerry!

ShinGo

Wed, 21 Jan 2004 18:02:34 -0500

A Bloodhound! John Kerry looks like McGruff the Crime Dog.

Robert

Wed, 21 Jan 2004 15:03:03 -0500

Or Jay Leno, with the hair and big jaw.

Big D

Wed, 21 Jan 2004 13:36:54 -0500

John Kerry really looks like Bentley from the Jeffersons. That huge jaw and rectangular head. And the bumbling too.

Justin

Wed, 21 Jan 2004 10:56:25 -0500

Personally, I think John Kerry looks like one of those angry trees in "The Wizard of Oz"

Jen

Wed, 21 Jan 2004 10:53:13 -0500

Yes, I was wondering who they were going to put with Kerry during that Conan segment. Keith Richards is all right, but maybe Brad Garrett (Robert from Everybody Loves Raymond) with lots of wrinkles would be good - it's all in the hangdog eyes.

eebmore

Wed, 21 Jan 2004 10:27:29 -0500

ha! this is a much better juxtaposition and Conan's Kerry=Keith Richards. But Fred Gwynne passed away, so it wouldn't have worked so well.