Astute readers may remember that our last essay on blogging (Gothamist Notes 1: What Not To Do When You Blog) generated a tidal wave of negative feedback not seen since the infamous Squawking 'Bout Gawker post of last fall. Chastened by the smack-down, we decided to go a less inflammatory route for our second thoughtpiece - predictions about things that will happen in our tiny, incestuous blogosphere in 2004. Feel free to add your own predictions in the comments.
1. Public Acclaim: At least one of the New York Bloggers will receive a full write-up in the New York Times, and it will not be Elizabeth Spiers. In the article, the words "hipster doofus," "dorky cool," and "restraining order" will be used, perhaps not in the title, but certainly in the captions.
2. Photoblogging: The New York Photobloggers will be recognized as a genuine artistic movement, like the Beats from the 1950s or the Abstract Expressionists of the 1960s. At least one New York gallery will have a show entirely devoted to New York Photobloggers, and at least one NY Photoblogger will be hired as a photojournalist by a major paper.
3. Technology: All the major blogging sites will be forced to add comment registration to stem the rising tide of comment spam. This comment registration will include an image recognition step to deter scripted attacks. Movable Type will continue its popularity as blog software, but also become a true consumer grade content management solution. All major sites will adopt, or at least attempt, XHTML/CSS standards-based programming. Videoblogging and audioblogging will be attempted, but will not be successful.
4. Blog Boom: One of the New York Blogs will be bought by a major media outlet/figure for a ridiculously inflated price, along the lines of the Daily Candy purchase. The words "blogger millionaire" will become synonymous with wild Williamsburg spending sprees and blowout parties not seen since March 2000.
4. (a) Blog Bust: Buyer of said New York blog will declare bankruptcy about 8-10 months after the purchase and then get rich again by going into online porn.
5. GLBT: Gay Blogging will receive a full treatment in a major magazine. "Gay Blogger Mafia" will be used as either a title or subtitle in this article (or a reference to the "Velvet Type"), and Choire will be photographed in front of his computer, looking handsome and moody, and Rachel will show more of her breasts.
6. Blogging Firsts: The first major lawsuit involving a blog will be launched- either for digital copyright infringement or for libel/slander. Blogs will play a role in a major crime, either murder or assault. Blogs will be featured as the primary plot device in a major television show - most likely Law & Order. The NYPD will start blogs as sting devices. Jerry Springer and Montel Williams will vie for "My Boyfriend/Girlfriend Has a Blog!" guests. Grandparent Blogging will hit the senior circuit and receive some press coverage.
7. Politics: Howard Dean will be candidate of choice of the wired, though he will not be the national Democratic nominee. He will, however, start his own blog, a la Wil Wheaton, where loyalists can stroke his ego; Al Sharpton's blog, however, will be more popular. President Bush will take note and start a blog...but on LiveJournal.
8. Word Police: There will be a fight for the word "blog" as the rift between online journal-diary style blogs and all other blogs deepens. When it turns out that non-personal blogs are written by people with lives and personal blogs are written by shut-ins who can't write, the management of Blogger, Movable Type, Xanga, et al. decide to meet, Cosa Nostra style. Later, they will appeal to the OED to make the call.
9. Gothamist: Gothamist will introduce some new features: Little League sports coverage, a discussion board, a series of interviews with hip New Yorkers, a store featuring more Gothamist swag. The Gothamist backlash will go into full-swing: "I Hate Gothamist" will be featured on at least one CafePress T-Shirt.
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i predict that Jen Gothamist's Rack will win the New Hampshire primaries and make a serious run at the Democratic nomination! tight Gothamist t-shirts will replace trucker hats as the outfit du jour for the Hipster Doofus Nation ... obvs.
Blog ... Millionaire ... I like it!
Whatever happened with the Little League team sponsorship? Is there a Gothamist team? The Pandas?!
poop, i liked the controversial essay on blogging better.
but i do hope that that law and order thing happens...that would be hype.
Gothamist rack for 2004!
I predict that Urban Outfitters will put the phrase "Blog Millionaire" on distressed ringer-t and sell it for $30.
that's a great idea! other phrases i'd like to see on distressed t-shirts: "i blog for food", "fuck me, i'm a blogger", "friendster-whore", "touch my blog", etc.
The distressed T-Shirt of choice at the Urban Outfitters will read "Blog me Gently"
Coming soon to a cable service near you: On The Blog, a Reality Show. Bloggers are filmed going about their business while voiceover narration (with real-time typing excerpts as captions) reads their entries about what you've just watched them do. Art eats itself, clocks stop worldwide at 14:58. Related development: Paris Hilton starts a blog just in time to be included. What a coincidence!
continuing the distressed tee theme:
"slutster" or perhaps "slutster.com", at least until that site is up and running as a porn site for scooter girlz and sk8tr boyz.
"he only loves me for by blog"
and, on the back of a pair of panties or shorts: "insert blog here"
You can be assured that should I (well, that's not really a question, it's only a matter of when I) bare my breasts again, Gothamist will be among the first to know. I am happy to be part of a gay blogger mafia. In fact, I have a new (and hopefully updated daily or as close to it as I can) Lusty Lady Blog.