The Wisdom of Jessica Simpson

The fine folks at E! Online have a Wisdom of Jessica Simpson reference guide. The guide helps everyone understand their new favorite reality show heroine/victim a little better. An example:

Choice Jessica soundbite: "I think I need to go, um...drop some kids in the pool."
The Situation: Jessica has just devoured a meal of fast food delights and now feels a strong urge to defecate but doesn't wish to offend others with such bold talk.
The Profound Lesson: Jessica shows that what most folks consider a simple bodily function can be a creative act from her. Expect more creative acts like this to come from her in the future.

The season finale of Newlyweds is October 21; it has also been renewed for another season, starting in 2004.

Jessica's new CD is In This Skin.

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Comments (21) [rss]

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i guess that means they have to stay married until then...

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How can you hate Jessica when you don't REALLY know her? People, in case you are trying to send the image that you are as dumb as a brick yourself, MTV is portraying Jessica as they want you to see her. Your opinion of her is based strictly on what you have been shown. The person who wants to throw darts at her pin up scares me. You are dillussional and have a lot of anger pent up in you. Seek help immediatly! There is no way unless you have actually spent time in the Newlyweds home that you can form an accurate picture of these people. My own mother sometimes messes up American sayings (she says thats how the apple crumbles) like Jessica did with her "My ears were itching" instead of burning, as her hubby quickly but politely corrected her. Jessica was upset too with Nick on the decorating of the house. She went to her book signing etc. and came home to find the house decorated when she specifically asked him not to before she left. He betrayed her in that way. As a married couple that is what bonds you, doing things together, making decisions about your home together. And the way Nick put that ladder across to the upstairs to bring the furniture in the house...we were thinking why don't you just HIRE people to do that? I can't figure out if that was pure genius or stupidity...

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HI JESSICA DODNT WORRY WATHANYONE SAYS THER JUST JEALOUS OF YOU.JUST BE YOUERSELF'YOU HAVE A GOODM MARRIAGE,& GOODLUCK IN LIFE GOOD BLESS YOU &YOUER FAMILEY SAY HI, TO NICK FOUR ME' ALWAYS PAEY INEVERTHING.YOU DO? LOVE ITA FAMILY

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I am so sick and tired of the people in this country over dramatizing things. I highly doubt that someone who can have such a good career as Jessica has, can be stupid. She is pretty and I hope that her and Nick work out. I am glad that she is such a classy young southern lady.
Jessica and Nick forever

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I have liked Jessica Simpson from her first album and on. i do believe that although her second album was a little bit on the "sluttyer" side, she is a good person with strong morals that she does advocate for. So in that regard, she is a good, wholesome rolemodel, which is more than I can say for Christina. I think her second album, Irresistable, was just a phase in which she fell into the hands of bad publicity and succumbed to looking like a tramp for a short period of time before she figured out how to convey her message, which is wholesome. As for her being stupid-sure, she's not the smartest girl in the world, that's apparant, but not all celebrities are. The only thing that bothers me about her "stupidity" is the fact that I think the majority of it is a facade that keeps her looking cute and ditzy, or so she thinks. But hey-nobody's perfect, and who wouldn't wanna look cute for Nick? Anyway, people can think what they want to about her, but she is beautiful and inspirational to a lot of people, and everyone goes through bad phases in life, and not all people are smart or know how to convey their knowledge. She's still human, and she's just discovering herself under public scrutiny, which may be a dumb mistake as it's earning her a somewhat bad reputation, but if you look inside her heart you'll realize that she's a human with feelings, and putting all of that hatred out into the world is not going to change her or her image.

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ok jessica simpson is the dumbest person i 've evEr seen in my life. or mtv does a really good job of portraying her as that. so if she really does have half a brain DO NOT SIGN ON FOR A SECOND SEASON!!! by the way i love the show and i find her stupidity the most entertaining show of my week.

hey gurl, i just love u and ur show. i dont care how stupid u sound b/c i can relate. i mean i thought bufflo wings were made of bufflo. y would someone name it after that if they wanted ppl to think they were bufflo. lol! i just wanted to let u know i love u and wish u the best of wishes on u ur show and ur marrige. love u gurl and i u ever see this i would just die if u wrote back to me! :)

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People keep claiming that Jessica Simpson is "inspirational". What is she inspiring people to do? Not try to improve themselves if they are as stupid as she? Wallow in money and have no concern for the less fortunate? She is a symbol of working little, knowing even less, and being very rich. I would have no problem of her being stupid if she did not have to broadcast it on national TV, therefore inspiring other young people to think that being that stupid is good, because she has a hot husband. It bothers me that people my age admire her lack of concern for anyone but herself. She seems to sing, be with her husband, and buy expensive things, and pay people to do things for her.

As for morals, she does portray two that I can think of: being faithful to one's husband and being "religious" (she said that faith is a big part of her life). Many people claim that she is a good moral example. First, just look at a couple of pictures taken of her. Her boobs pour out in most of them and she is usually wearing tight miniskirts. And as to her being beautiful, I haven't seen a picture of her without make-up on, so it would be hard to judge.

I wish people would stop claiming that people who don't like Jessica are just jealous of her. What is there to be jealous of? Being rich and having no concern for others? And as to her "individuality", isn't she a symbol of "popular" culture, meaning that she goes with what's in style? She is not expressing her individuality, she is expressing her stupidity. I only wish that people wouldn't look up to her as a roll model.

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This is a for all the people who hate jessica simpson and all other celebrities ...GET A FUCKING LIFE!! who cares about them! its not like ur gunna have dinner with them or even be near them! let them live there fucking life! stop worrying about nick and jessicas relationship! They obviously are in love if they put up with each other this long! and dont gimme this crap about nick just likeing her for her looks nick is a good looking guy and can get any girl but he chose Jessica! so all those people out there worrying bout there relationship and insulting them...maybe ur doing it cause u have no relationship and ur jealous cause u thought it was gunna break and it didnt...but with all these people syaing its not gunna last they should break up just makes there relationship longer! and jessica has a beautiful voice better than all u who are saying she doesnt! and so wut if she makes an ass of herself.. she being herself! she doesnt change for people and thats rare so all u who are saying that shes making an ass of themselves .. ur prob stuck up lil bitches! and i bet most of u aint too bright either and ill admit it im stupid and make an ass outta myself plenty of times but i dont give a shyt cause thats me and thats jessica ! so back off and get a life! maybe jessica will buy one for u with all her money...and i respect jessica for saving herself till marriage i'll probabkly do the same cause i dun wanna be a fucking whore like all the girl saying "omg i cant believe she saved herself till marriage, shes so stupid..blah blah blah'' my fucking god shut the hell up! let them do what they want cause no one is insulting u and making fun of u for the stupid things u do ALL OF U SHOULD STOP BEING TIGHT ASSES AND START WORRYIGN BOUT UR OWN GODDAM LIFE AND NOT CELEBRITIES WHO DONT EVEN KNOW YOU! i mean JESUS!

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JS is an idiot. If you don't like her then please stop watching her. Don't waste your time with her. You are then just as stupid. At least she's making money from you all. She's no role model. No Christian parades around in slutty stuff. To willingly portray yourself to the world as a bimbo is insulting to all those truly intelligent, talented women who work hard. To the JS defender : we are allowed to express our thoughts just as much as you are. Too bad you can't accept that we can think for ourselves and disagree with you (hence the fawning over JS).

Whelp I'd have to say all of you guys are ignorant like her or not. She isn't going anywhere no matter how stupid she is. She's got money and as long as you pathetic nimrods keep complaining and giving her "props" as if she is ever going to read this need to find something better to do with you time.

Whelp I'd have to say all of you guys are ignorant like her or not. She isn't going anywhere no matter how stupid she is. She's got money and as long as you pathetic nimrods keep complaining and giving her "props" as if she is ever going to read this need to find something better to do with your time.

Whelp I'd have to say all of you guys are ignorant like her or not. She isn't going anywhere no matter how stupid she is. She's got money and as long as you pathetic nimrods keep complaining and giving her "props" as if she is ever going to read this need to find something better to do with your time.

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I don't hate Jessica Simpson, I just resent the way she sorta sold out to the cheaper side of the musci industry. These days, music isn't about good songwriting or singing anymore. Its all about the image you see on MTV.Its all about how Britney Spears looked almost naked in one of her stupid videos. JS sold out because she claims to be "christian" and next thing you know...kablam! When her first single came out she was innocently dressed in jeans and tight T shirt, singing her heart out...She's on the stage wearing a sluts uniform. I'm sorry, I don't think true Christians wear clothes that reveal half their breasts, nor do they strut around in hotpants. She is totally contradicting herself and what she stands for.Or maybe she's just caught up in the whirlwind of bullshit also known as fame and riches? I truly don't know.
And why why WHY does she keep appearing on countless magazine covers? Are we worshipping dumb people now? And why the heck is that show newlyweds making money? Don't people have lives of their own these days?
I hate how TV puts ignorant people like her on TV and make TV shows about their life. Everyone glorifies her and her Nick..and now people think its ok to be dumb, or play dumb. That its cute maybe?
Noooooooooooo!!

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To even waste time.. talking in some lame forum is patheticism in its worst form.... sorry but its true

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She one of the dumbest people I've ever seen, and I dont think anyone can act being that dumb. She should have married George W Bush, their kids would have set a new record.

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It really bugs me when you all talk about being a Christian and whatnot. No one has the right to judge anyone else. For the record, God is the only one who can do that. God also hates when another person criticizes or judges HIS creations. So before you start thinking you know what it means to be a Christian, take a look at yourself. You think Jessica is not a Christian because she wears revealing clothes? Give me a break! She waited until marriage to have sex, which is more than I could say for our other "role models" out there (Britney) In my OPINION, Jessica Simpson has definite self-respect for herself, and is a good person. I also believe that the people who criticize her only do it because they find something in her that they do not have. Because why else would someone hate a person that they don't even know. If you have opinions, fine. But don't try to throw in the religious/christian aspect into it. Do you swear? Do you cut people off while driving? Have you ever lied? Are you a christian? Think about it guys. You aren't God, and you sure as heck don't have the right to judge his people. Thanks.

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It really bugs me when you all talk about being a Christian and whatnot. No one has the right to judge anyone else. For the record, God is the only one who can do that. God also hates when another person criticizes or judges HIS creations. So before you start thinking you know what it means to be a Christian, take a look at yourself. You think Jessica is not a Christian because she wears revealing clothes? Give me a break! She waited until marriage to have sex, which is more than I could say for our other "role models" out there (Britney) In my OPINION, Jessica Simpson has definite self-respect for herself, and is a good person. I also believe that the people who criticize her only do it because they find something in her that they do not have. Because why else would someone hate a person that they don't even know. If you have opinions, fine. But don't try to throw in the religious/christian aspect into it. Do you swear? Do you cut people off while driving? Have you ever lied? Are you a christian? Think about it guys. You aren't God, and you sure as heck don't have the right to judge his people. Thanks.

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It really bugs me when you all talk about being a Christian and whatnot. No one has the right to judge anyone else. For the record, God is the only one who can do that. God also hates when another person criticizes or judges HIS creations. So before you start thinking you know what it means to be a Christian, take a look at yourself. You think Jessica is not a Christian because she wears revealing clothes? Give me a break! She waited until marriage to have sex, which is more than I could say for our other "role models" out there (Britney) In my OPINION, Jessica Simpson has definite self-respect for herself, and is a good person. I also believe that the people who criticize her only do it because they find something in her that they do not have. Because why else would someone hate a person that they don't even know. If you have opinions, fine. But don't try to throw in the religious/christian aspect into it. Do you swear? Do you cut people off while driving? Have you ever lied? Are you a christian? Think about it guys. You aren't God, and you sure as heck don't have the right to judge his people. Thanks.

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haha i was jus watchin MTV n i looked up online "Jessica Simpson is fucking stupid" and this site came up...the fact is this brod is just a rich spoiled adult haha. I wonder if she even graduated high school or did she buy her diploma? i dont know and as far as people that say we shouldnt care well fuck its on TV and we all watch TV so obviously we can complain about retarded people like this haha lateezz

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Why are you guys talking aboyt my older sister
i no we dont get a long that much but you still
can say stuff like that love you jessica from ashley.Iam there for you love #number one sis

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