When you've read the eighteenth interview with Renee Zellweger and realized you've learned nothing about her, except that she loves her dog, you know that celebrity interviews are a smokescreen. Jeanette Wells asks various interviewers who the boringest interviewees are, and besides Renee, here are three:
George Clooney: “During the interview, I was so excited because he seemed so forthcoming and disarming. Then I got home and listened to my tape, and realized he hadn’t really said a thing. He totally outsmarted me into thinking he was really opening up to me, but he didn’t reveal a thing.”
Beyonce Knowles: “She’s really a lovely person, but she doesn’t speak in complete sentences. Everything she says is disjointed. I think it’s just because she’s so young, but her conversation is all about hand gestures and ‘ya knows’ and ‘likes,’ and because of that, you can’t put together a coherent quote from her.” (It's so true - we love her music but have you ever seen her being interviewed on TV? We don't know what the hell she's talking about!)
Harrison Ford: “He’ll give you a monosyllabic answer and not care. Harrison tolerates silences. He’ll answer a question with ‘Yep’ or ‘Nope’ or ‘I don’t know’ and let you twist it the wind. That’s his distinctive form of torture.” (He needs to be high, Gothamist thinks, if his late night interviews are any indication.)
Other bad interview times are Melanie Griffith, Kim Basinger, Lucy Liu, Meg Ryan, Michelle Pffeifer, Tom Cruise, and Britney Spears. Yeah, that sounds about right.
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"Arnold Schwarzenegger is being criticized by the press because instead of discussing issues, he keeps reciting catchphrases like 'Hasta la vista baby.' When reached for comment, Arnold said, 'Hasta la vista baby.' " (Conan O'Brien)
Another boring interviewee is Gwyneth Paltrow. Booooring. "My father, my mother, Michael Douglas had to pull strings to get me into UC Santa Barbara, etc etc."
Britney Spears was on CNN yesterday being interviewed by get this, Tucker Carlson, of all people. She was chewing gum throughout the entire interview. But the funniest thing is that when the interview was over the two newsreaders mocked Britney and I mean savagely. They showed the newsreaders in extreme close-ups chewing gum and talking nonsense. Wow, CNN was geting feistly.
I guess they feel they need to compete with Fox News.
Part of the problem is that celebrity publicists wield so much power, interviewers are afraid to ask tough questions, which make for a boring interview.
when harrison was on conan and came out basically ridiculing k-19 instead of plugging it? c'mon, that's a great interview.
on gwennie, don't forget that whole "Steven Spielberg is like my uncle and cast me in my first movie..." blah blah blah. (admit it --- she's so cute tho.)
I have an idea. Let's stop interviewing the fuckers.