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Newlyweds: Like Taking Candy From a Baby

2003_8_laundry.jpgNewlyweds, the MTV reality show about Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey's new marriage, did not strike Gothamist as what we should be watching, but Virginia Heffernan's review in Slate tells us we are clearly missing out. Apparently Jessica Simpson doesn't know if tuna is chicken or fish (damn the marketing of "Chicken of the Sea") and Nick Lachey bitches about her to his stylist (a celebrity's best friend, it seems). Oh, and Simpson's idea of dealing with her laundry is throwing them from her balcony onto her foyer floor. Haha, Gothamist would imagine that even the laziest of celebrities would just stuff dirty clothes into a closet or something. Foyer - that means people coming into the house see it. Not that we're surprised, but Jessica Simpson is stupid.

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  • Shell

    Sometimes I think everyone that makes fucked up comments about the people on tv should be taped on a reality show so that the world could see all of their down falls and talk shit about them too.

  • Anna

    I agree- if you don't like the show than stop watching it!! Obviously they are doing something right because the show lasted 3 seasons and look at all the endorsement deals they have gotten. I think they are great and even greater together!! For all of you that think they won't last, who the fuck are you to judge!! They lasted this long. And Jessica didn't have everything handed to her, she started small and had to perform in malls. Good for them and the life they have. Jealousy getes you nowhere!!!

  • YA"LL SUCK

    IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE DAMN SHOW OR YOU THINK ITS SCRIPTED THEN DON'T FUCKING WATCH IT!!!! THAT SIMPLE!I SURE JESSICA AND NICK REALLY CARE WHAT THE HELL YOU THINK! see ya

  • WHATEVER

    The reason why teeny-boppers like Jessica Simpson and Britney Spears are so fucking stupid is because their Patsey Ramsey-like-mothers were dragging them around to auditions their whole childhood when they should be in school. How come social services won't take their kids away like a crackhead that doesn't send their kids to school? It's bad enough a lot of these so called "artists" sell themselves out, but it all started with their parents exploiting them. Everyone wants to know why our youth is so deranged, look at the parents! God forbid that brainless fat titted bitch ever has kids. She would hire a nanny to raise it, just like other "celebs". I don't know about you but I would rather grow up in a trailer park with hard-working parents that had morals and integrity instead of living in a big empty house being raised by nannies while my rich, famous parents are off being shallow and selling out to a desparate public that isn't satified with their own lives. The public are the ones who make these sad fuck untalented "artists" rich and famous. And what really gets me is that Jessica Simpson says she's a Christain. I'm not here to debate that but she has NEVER shown any Christain-like behavior. Also about all this "creative editing", either way Jessica is a dumb fuck. And that is probably all she's good for to Nick.

  • WHATEVER

    The reason why teeny-boppers like Jessica Simpson and Britney Spears are so fucking stupid is because their Patsey Ramsey-like-mothers were dragging them around to auditions their whole childhood when they should be in school. How come social services won't take their kids away like a crackhead that doesn't send their kids to school? It's bad enough a lot of these so called "artists" sell themselves out, but it all started with their parents exploiting them. Everyone wants to know why our youth is so deranged, look at the parents! God forbid that brainless fat titted bitch ever has kids. She would hire a nanny to raise it, just like other "celebs". I don't know about you but I would rather grow up in a trailer park with hard-working parents that had morals and integrity instead of living in a big empty house being raised by nannies while my rich, famous parents are off being shallow and selling out to a desparate public that isn't satified with their own lives. The public are the ones who make these sad fuck untalented "artists" rich and famous. And what really gets me is that Jessica Simpson says she's a Christain. I'm not here to debate that but she has NEVER shown any Christain-like behavior. Also about all this "creative editing", either way Jessica is a dumb fuck. And that is probably all she's good for to Nick.

  • lynne

    I think nick and jessica are beautiful looking people and they are both so very talented. i just find it so sad that they dont seem happy together.

    in marriage one must look to be a "giver" they must make it a goal. i also dont see jessica doing her part as wife. as a wife it is a job to help bring the best out in your husband, be his #1 fan. nick appears to do that with jess. but i see her as just being a negative type of wife who does not seem to help uplift her husband. " the two become one" means not to just seek your own wants all of the time but to look at the needs of your mate.

    i feel bad for the couple, i think they love eachother but do struggle with selfishness, lack of faith in god.

    lynne

  • Dwanna

    I don't think Jessica can dance. She looks unnatural in her music videos. She's OK looking only. But she's lucky she's got this successful with newlyweds and she's lucky she's got nick.

  • Mona

    Leanne, you are completely right in your observations. I am very impressed, and that does not happen often.

    I think her mispronunciations and her every episode blondisms are what keep us all watching. Would be as attracted to this show if Jessica was an intellectual who collected Kahlo's paintings and read poems by Sylvia Plath and Anne Sexton. I highly doubt it. I think she is smart to realize stupid sells. Janes Manesfield was a genius who played dumb for the cameras. Jessica is only following the formula for blondes in the industry.

  • amy

    I think Jessica and Nick are great. Everyone judging them are hypocrites. Just imagine the dumb things the world might see you doing if there were cameras following you areound 24 hours. I know they are laughing all the way to the bank because I would be.

  • Emme

    Thank you Ivy......I agree with every word you wrote! I'm glad someone finally said it. Their all morons for getting on their computers to trash someone about being dumb....but their just as idiotic and they don't make the cash Jessica is!!!

  • Emme

    Thank you Ivy......I agree with every word you wrote! I'm glad someone finally said it. Their all morons for getting on their computers to trash someone about being dumb....but their just as idiotic and they don't make the cash Jessica is!!!

  • hans allover

    Jessica more than likely has a stinky ass bcause

    that moron or husband must walk behind her & find

    her somehow, it's the same principal as

    Onstar, butt in this case it's Nosestar> PU

  • Ivy

    LMAO! Every last one of your posts trashing Jessica Simpson is so funny. None of you have a clue. She is filthy rich. All of you are jealous that she can act the way she does and be that rich and have a guy that good looking and sweet to her. If given the chance every last one of you would do the same thing for that much money. Everyone has a price rather they will admit it or not. Also if you hate her so much and the show is so lame then why waste an ounce of your time writing about it? Why continue to watch it? And why do all of you know so damn much about certain episodes? I like the show and I watch from time to time and I don't even know as much about every episode. You know MTV isn't free you have to pay for it which means that you probably have other channels along with that one so why don't you just change the F**KING channel? LOL, well have fun trashing a girl that is an air head at times but has never proved to be a bad person or deserve half the shit everyone says about her. I hope Jessica makes a lot more money and smiles and laughs all the way to the bank!

  • April

    I don't understand why everyone is so against Nick and Jessica. Yes, she's an idiot with a complete lack of common sense. Yes, he's basically a has-been that constantly complains about her lack of common sense. But they still have a TV show that is making alot of money and obviously they are doing something right or you people wouldn't still be watching it. If you don't like it then don't watch it. If you are still watching it, then shut up and quit complaining. Jessica is hot and she has an amazing singing voice. She's not any different than any other singer today and I don't hear any of you bi**hing about them. Seriously folks, how many other outrageously stupid and off the wall TV shows are out there? Punk'd, Scare Tactics, and the totally scripted and edited "reality shows". Come on people, lay off Nick and Jessica and let them make their money. If you don't like it then stop buying their music and watching their TV show. Don't hate them because they are beautiful and rich. You don't seem to hate any other beautiful rich celebrities. Or maybe you are all just jealous of the fact that they make millions and you don't. Want to make that kind of money? Then do what they do, air your dirty laundry (no pun intended), let your life sit on display on television, or get up there and try to belt out some of the hot high notes that the little blonde vixon can. Just please do something and shut up about Nick and Jessica!!!

  • Dale

    I can't stand Jessica Simpson anymore..I bought into her stupidty for a while, but now I just realize she is just acting in front of the camera. She tries way too hard to be stupid and its so phony. Do we really have to see her parents every friggin episode? Why dont they let nick and Jessica alone...She really is overrated and hella phony.

  • Boston

    Personally I think Jessica's parents are way too weird. Especially her dad, who seems far too familiar with Nick and Jessica's sex life. While they made out during the shooting of her video, he stood their and watched....CREEPY!

  • Laura59

    Jessica Simpson is indeed a bumbling idiot. I'm not jealous nor am i envious, so please refer from saying that. We are all entiled to our own opinion so if you dont like what your reading close your browser buddy!!!!! I honestly believe they must be some real greedy animals to make their life and business everyone elses. Me personally would never open my door or marriage for riducule and critism. Jessica and Nick obviouslly were desperate to make money since their careers were slowley dissapearing. But that shows what this country is all about money, money, money. Kinda sad, huh? Shes a nasty woman. The way she presents herself, or the way shes scripted to present herself(since theres such a debate about that), all i have to say--white trash! Nick is going to be out the door very soon. Shes nastyyyy, making indirect comments about that singer was horrible. Some ppl may have not caught on to it, but i sure did. I really pity ppl like Jessica, ungrateful for the life she was given. I honestly believe that stupidty front she puts up is basically a way to look cute. She thinks she is the princess of the world and since she has million she can do that. She doesnt care so you guys shouldnt either. Believe it or not that laughing it up in their million dollar mansion while were here typing on the internet in our average lives..lol..life sucks!

  • Shelley

    Leanne... I think it's fake I think it's great I think it's hilarious and I'm NOT ashamed to admit it!!!

  • jewboy

    The only idiots here, are the people who watch the show and believe its non-scripted. These people are the same lame ass, couch potatoes that believe WWF is real also.

  • meagan

    jessica is awesome....you are all jealous...i know that i am

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