Breakup Haiku and Bad Breakups

Haiku

Gothamist loves Breakup Girl, but who knew we'd see our high school valedictorian listed as the winner of the Breakup Haiku contest from 2000? Gothamist can only wonder what it would be like to get a haiku when breaking up. On Sex and the City, the breakup was via Post-It (Gothamist has only sunk to e-mail dumping, never yellow stickies).

Two of Gothamist's worst breakups: (1) Being locked in L's apartment on 19th street after the discovery of a name on a "to-do" list in our wallet, and not being allowed to leave; and (2) Corner of First Avenue and East 6th Street, Gothamist demanding to break up after B started to say something about "needing space" (we're learning to be quick on the draw). Space. Who are people kidding?

Contact the author of this article or email tips@gothamist.com with further questions, comments or tips.

By Jen Chung in Miscellaneous on August 6, 2003 4:31 PM

Comments [rss]

Lauren

At his request I left my career and moved to NYC. I was unemployed for 11 months, so I was broke and financially dependant on him - but then we knew that was a possibility and he makes like 140k yearly. I don't know anyone in the area, since all my friends were HIS friends. We get engaged. One idle thursday, we get in an argument about money, and he - knowing I HAVE none - kicks me out, handing me my backpack, and suddenly I am standing in the rain at 9:30 at night with nowhere to go and no one to call.

The next day was the power outtage. I STILL don't have ANY of my things, and I had to quit my job since I had no where to go. I am forced to return to my PARENTS house, at 33, and when I get there - there is an email from him telling me that He's really sorry, He loves me with all his heart, but I was simply never happy with him, and that was a dealbreaker as far as he was concerned. That was the first I was aware of my misery - but damn, its hard to disagree in retrospect.

HATE him.

Lauren

At his request I left my career and moved to NYC. I was unemployed for 11 months, so I was broke and financially dependant on him - but then we knew that was a possibility and he makes like 140k yearly. I don't know anyone in the area, since all my friends were HIS friends. We get engaged. One idle thursday, we get in an argument about money, and he - knowing I HAVE none - kicks me out, handing me my backpack, and suddenly I am standing in the rain at 9:30 at night with nowhere to go and no one to call.

The next day was the power outtage. I STILL don't have ANY of my things, and I had to quit my job since I had no where to go. I am forced to return to my PARENTS house, at 33, and when I get there - there is an email from him telling me that He's really sorry, He loves me with all his heart, but I was simply never happy with him, and that was a dealbreaker as far as he was concerned. That was the first I was aware of my misery - but damn, its hard to disagree in retrospect.

HATE him.

scott

here's one of the best/worst/most horrifying NYC breakup stories ever: http://www.poopreport.com/Stories/Content/relationship.html

Jen

That's why Gothamist is in the midst of developing a secret language, so now one will understand anything we write. Or say.

Frankenstein

Well, putting a name on a "To-Do" list would seem to be a bit, uh, blatent.

Justin Case, the forgotten Got

There are other, much worse breakup stories that could have been used in this post. For example, I had a long term girlfriend, who became a long distance girlfriend. She expressed the feeling that the distance was a great strain on the relationship. I found out that she had been seeing someone else locally, which was somewhat understandable if not pleasant to hear. When I flew 3,000 miles to see her and "work on our relationship" she told me that it was over with him and that he was moving to another state. Over the next couple of months I thought we were working things out. Then she told me that she hadn't stopped seeing him and preferred that long distance relationship to ours. A few months after that I read her wedding announcement on the class notes page.