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So you've been using Friendster for a while, and you've sent some messages out to people you're interested in dating or even just being friend friends with, but haven't had any luck with responses. A high rate-of-response depends on three things, the same three things that apply to online dating, a photograph, a fairly completed profile, and an interesting initial message. Since photograph and profile are up to you, Gothamist will share some of the messages we've gotten to help you get a sense of what works and what doesn't.
When Gothamist sees something like that, we just delete. There's no real call-to-action. If you're worried about bothering, then why the heck did you write? Give it up. The same can be said for the following:
Not referencing anything at all in our profile? Just thinking you can swoop in and ask for a date? Come on, Gothamist is easy, but not that easy. The truth is, people love getting messages, but they really don't want to do that much work. You need to lay a little more ground work with your message - show that you've actually read the person's profile. This message, added to the fact that there was not even a picture - pass.
We'd call this the "Passive Aggressive" approach to Friendster: "Fumbling" your way into some sort of Friendster message relationship, by pretending to stumble across the profile. Sadly, Gothamist felt that if it really was a mistake to message us at all, wouldn't it have been easier to not message? But we do appreciate the Stone Roses props.
This was one scary message. We don't want to stay in touch. We just hope it's some form letter that was sent to everybody.
Just wanted to say hi? Who are you, our little cousin? Well, maybe Gothamist is one of the few people who finds a simple hi boring. Give it some oomph. Also, an exclamation point ("Hey, Cutie!"), instead the question mark, would have been more appropriate. There is no reason to write back. At least the following person had the smarts to acknowledge the truth:
This is a good start to a message. Unfortunately for the writer, there was no reason to continue. The writer could have said something about some other music, did we like such music, etc. This, though, was a very pleasant affirmation of our taste that we did not feel necessary to thank ('cause all we would have written was "thanks"), because it seemed more like a giveaway.
Even strange, almost confrontational messages that specify something very particular about your personality/profile are more interesting than rote "Hey, what's up?" messages.
This provokes thought. Clearly, the person was familiar with our profile. And felt very strongly about it, strongly enough to write a message. And above all, what does this person have against pandas, perhaps the coolest animals in the world? Needless to say, Gothamist immediately fired off a response to that.
Post your thoughts about good and bad Friendster messages or your questions about writing better ones. We're here to help, you know.
Gothamist on Friendster Protocol.
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Um, I just ran across this post and I thought it was about Napster but this is pretty interesting too. Nevermind.
It seems the freak ratio on Friendster may, shockingly enough, be higher even than that in Manhattan.
At least when meeting people live in the city one often has the pleasure of discovering their abnormality gradually, after they've bought one a few drinks.
I wrote the above.
Friendster is a fertile ground for nutcases, myself included.
No one has approached me on Friendster. I wouldn't know how to respond to such messages.
:(
when i message people i just berate their interests. i ALWAYS get a response, but so far, no dates.
weird how this internet brings out the weirdness in all of us
Hilton, you got to put out (some messages) to get some. During my chatty Cathy period, I wrote to a number of people with varying success. Some of these people are now my friends. More of them may be my enemies. We need "Friend"ster as Jake suggests. Or Enemyster.
Enemyster is a "Friend" on Friendster.
I just wish there was a way to specify that you are enemies with someone- it would make the whole social structure a lot more interesting and accurate. Right now we just have a system built on associations, whereas we all know the real world is built on associations and enmities. Does anyone have any idea of how this functionality could be built into the system? I think it would be enough to have another box under each user labelled "enemies", and unlike friends, you wouldn't have to approve someone for them to become your enemy- it could be a one-sided thing.
one guy insulted me in his message and then requested to add me as a friend, within a span of 5 minutes.
jake, love the enemy idea. enemyster.com looks to be on its way.
Oh, some of my favorite Friendster messages:
"Who are you doing tonight? Call me on 917 xxx-xxxx."
and
"I want to fuck you like an animal."
Some friends.
"I want to fuck you like an animal!" That's a Nine Inch Nails fan RIGHT THERE!
if you're spending that much time analyzing responses on friendster, it's pretty clear you need to get a life.
Holy shit, Taka, you've just told me something I NEVER REALIZED BEFORE.
Man, obviously I need a life - I'm working on Gothamist all the time.
If you're spending that much time analyzing a life, it's pretty clear you need to get responses on Friendster.
If you set up a blog about New Jersey, call it the sixth borough, and then publicize it, we're all doomed.
Next you need to write a primer on how to ask someone to join their friendster network. I'm finding that folks ask me in person first, then send the email. I dont' know how I feel about that. On one hand, I'm like, Cool! This person is checking in! On teh other hand, I'm like, Where's the fucking mystery in THAT?!?
Why oh why do members of the opposite sex still contact you when you state quite clearly that you're in a relationship?
Also, I got friendster spam from a jeweler because I mentioned liking gold teeth. Fucking spam!?!?!
I HEART Friendster a great deal.
goo work
goo work